In todays society children are exposed to or experience domestic violence day in and day out in many ways. They may hear one parent threaten the other, observe a parent who is out of control or reckless with anger, see one parent assault the other, or live with the aftermath of a violent assault. Many children are affected by hearing threats to the safety of their parent, regardless of whether it results in physical injury. Children who live with domestic violence are also at increased risk to become direct victims of child abuse. In my opinion domestic violence poses a serious threat to children's emotional, psychological, and physical well-being.
As a child I think the biggest stressor for me was domestic violence. My father was an alcoholic and would take his anger out on my mother. Having to see and hear the pain that my mother went through was very hard for me. It was hard for me because I really loved my father on one hand and hated him on the other. I think that in order to survive I shut myself off from the world. I would stay locked up in my room and would not socialize much with people.
Exposure to domestic violence has also been linked to poor school performance. It is said that children who grow up with domestic violence may have impaired ability to concentrate; difficulty in completing school work; and lower scores on measures of verbal, motor, and social skills.In addition to these physical, behavioral, psychological, and cognitive effects, children who have been exposed to domestic violence often learn destructive lessons about the use of violence and power in relationships. Children may learn that it is acceptable to exert control or relieve stress by using violence, or that violence is in some way linked to expressions of intimacy and affection. These lessons can have a powerful negative effect on children in social situations and relationships throughout childhood and in later life(Dotinga).
References
Dotinga, Randy. Parental Stress, Domestic Violence May Affect Kids’ Development: Study. Retrieved November 23, 2013 from http://news.health.com/2013/11/07/parental-stress-domestic-violence-may-affect-kids-development-study/
Hi Deon
ReplyDeleteIt is sad that you had to go through such a terrible ordeal during your childhood years. Domestic violence is indeed a powerful stressor for children. I remember when i was at primary school (elementary school), there was always domestic violence at the house of the neighbour who lived next door. The man would usually beat the lady for no apparent reason. These beatings occurred quite frequently. The children (two girls) would cry and plead to their father to leave their mother alone but their pleading ways futile. My mom would frequently go next door and ask him to leave the young lady alone or she would call the police. These two girls suffered alot. they would seldom come out and their performance at school began to dwindle. The mother became an alcohol and things got even worse for these two girls. However, fortunately enough for them, they were adopted by a family friend who took them to England. Today, they are doing quite well and they would usually come to visit their mother who unfortunately is still an alcoholic.
I am so sorry that you had to suffer that as a child. Unfortunately, in this field we see too many children who share your experiences. Growing up with the daily stress of fear has a negative impact on all aspects of development that will stay with a person for life. I hope that you are able to use your experience to help others also suffering.
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ReplyDeleteDeon,
ReplyDeleteI too was exposed to domestic violence as a child. I think as survivors of domestic violence, we can be a voice for children who also suffer from this stressor. We understand better than anyone what they are feeling, which gives us valuable insight as early childhood educators. We have an innate sense of what to look for in a child's behavior, which allows us to act accordingly. We must be vigilant in our efforts to be knowledgeable about community resources that can provide services for the child and the family.
Domestic Violence is a huge problem and causes alot of stress for families and causes alot of different reactions in children, it all depends on how the children manifest stress. Some may act out and others may try to be the best child thinking that they have something to do with the parents fighting.
ReplyDeleteIt's sad when parents don't see the harm they are causing their children and get out of the situation.
I'm sorry that you had to experience domestic violence as a child. Such can have a life long effect on children especially as it pertains to how they love, and treat others. In today's society it seems to be becoming more prevalent, or it may just be more publicized. Though as a child exposure to such behaviour can be detrimental to that child's psychosocial development.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear that you were a victim of domestic violence, I have also witnessed my father get angry and fight with my mother and my husband was a child of an abusive, alcoholic father and it is really hard for a child to encounter and it really does have an effect on the child and causes them to be withdrawn and have some other social issues. I make ever effort to try not to argue or yell in front of my son because I remember how it felt and I would never want him to feel the pain.
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